Happy Valentine’s Day – give extra hugs and kisses to the ones you love!

A couple of months ago my friend contacted me. Her very best friend, T, had found out her father-in-law was diagnosed with a very advanced cancer and had only a short time here left with them. This man was so extraordinary to them that their world had came crashing around them. She wanted to schedule a photo shoot with her father-in-law and the family spending a day together before he was too sick to do so. They wanted to have photos of him fishing with his grandsons, a past time that was among their favorite. They wanted pictures of the sons together, with their wives, with his best friend. They wanted pictures on his Harley, with his best friend, because these were all of the things he enjoyed in this life. The shoot had to happen soon because with each passing day his health declined and there was no telling what the passing hours would bring.

I was so nervous to be asked to do something so huge. Ultimately my images would be the ones he would see as a family. These images were, as I was told, to be the ones playing on a slide show at his funeral. The pressure was immense, but caring very much for my friend, I told her to let her best friend know I would do it.

On this day I met with the family in the park. They brought along fishing gear and the shiny red Harley. Mr. C was a very quiet man. He seemed lost in thought at times and I couldn’t help but imagine what one thinks on this planned final day of laughter, love and joy with his grandchildren. He seemed like a very strong man to me. I would never pass him and know just how ill he was. I watched him watch his baby granddaughter’s face as he bounced her in his arms. I watched him from across the creek teaching his grandsons how to bait a fishing rod. I watched his grandson totally engrossed and hanging on every solitary word he said. I watched his sons and daughter-in-laws watching him, watching them. I thought I might feel invasive during this time, but I didn’t. I fell right into the part of just catching the moments. Several times I had to wipe tears from my face because it was that emotional. There were many people around us in the park that day, but it felt almost as if there was a bubble around us. There was this silence as his daughter-in-law video taped beside me. While I have lost several close loved ones over my life time, I never remember preparing for it. Having those last days knowing I had to soak them in immediately before it was gone. Being given the chance to say the things you promise yourself you’ll say. Being given the chance to let go of bottled up thoughts and open up for the last time. I left the family that day knowing it wouldn’t be long before word would come to me saying Mr. C had passed peacefully. And it did. It was quite amazing how fast it happened and I felt such a sadness the day I opened the paper and saw his obituary. I felt bonded to them on one of their most precious days with their loving father/father-in-law/grandfather.

I spoke with T later and she told me her father-in-law saw all of the images and the slide show I had put together before he was too sick. He had loved them and that was all that mattered to me. I want to thank T and her family, and my friend A, for trusting in me that day. It was a unique experience that I will never forget. I am forever grateful to have shared such a private time with your family.

Rest in peace, Mr. C. Undoubtedly you were an amazing person in all of the lives you touched.

*I do want to put a disclaimer regarding the video. I do not own the rights to this music and created this video for personal use only. The family was presented with this slide show at no cost under the special circumstances.